I'm looking at the Windows Update panel:

> "Windows Update is committed to helping reduce carbon emissions."

Are those reduced carbon emissions in the room with us?

It’s just a JMP to the [EAX]
And then a shift to the right
Put your faith in the chips
LET’S DO THE SPECULATIVE EXECUTION AGAINNNNNN!

(h/t to @todb )

#shitpost #programming

Can AI increase your output? Sure, but so can a laxative.

each time you refresh the pakige tracking page they give the truck a bit of nitro boost so refresh more == arrive faster. this is true information. i would never lie to you.

When you download software from The Pirate Bay, you’ve accepted an End-User License Disagreement.

Perhaps it's time to tap the chart again. Left-handed people were once seen as sinister (the word sinister, from Latin, originally meant "left" or "on the left side") so kids were forced to be right-handed. However, with advances in science it became clear that brains were hard-wired for handedness, and society began to accept it as normal. The number of left-handers rose dramatically, but plateaued at 12% in the 60s and has stayed steady since.

This is a post about trans and non-binary people.

Yes, there’s another phishing campaign contacting fediverse users to fill out a form to avoid being suspended or whatever. Stay calm and just report them and be sure to check the option to inform their home instance so the account gets suspended for everyone.

Also, please consider enabling moderated signups if you don’t already have them. I get it - signups dropped by >90% when I did it, but there’s very little capability for dealing with bad actors proactively once they have an account. I know it’s not a foolproof way to keep the scammers out, but it is an improvement.

This XKCD comic is rather pertinent for the current zeitgeist I feel.

https://xkcd.com/1521/

Remember when you were a kid and you learned about Superman and thought it was totally ridiculous that Krypton was going to be destroyed but nobody did anything about it? I miss feeling that way.

#USB keyboards can't interrupt the CPU themselves, but the USB controller continuously polls them and will interrupt it on their behalf. Loudly.

#keyboard #shitpost

A code generation tool that gets you 80-90% of the way there is like a boat that gets you 80-90% of the way.

You'll need to be a strong swimmer.

a little light Classical Chinese translation before bed because that’s what I’m like:

Zengzi’s wife was going to the market when their son ran after her, crying. She said “Go home! When I get back, we’ll slaughter a pig.” When she came home, Zengzi went out to catch a pig. His wife stopped him, saying, “I was just joking with the boy!”

Zengzi told her “you can’t joke with children like that. They have no wisdom, only the guidance of their parents. If you deceive him now, what he will learn is deception. If a mother deceives her child, the child no longer trusts their mother, and nothing more can be taught.” Then they had bacon.

(source: the Han Feizi) #translation

The most compact, informative, and useful introduction to the Philosophy and Sociology of Science remains Kovar (2001), “Electron Band Structure in Germanium, My Ass”.

According to our telemetry, 100% of our users have telemetry enabled

Fans of security awareness training hate this one simple trick!

https://guard.io/labs/scamlexity-we-put-agentic-ai-browsers-to-the-test-they-clicked-they-paid-they-failed

ME: Okayyyyy It's Monday 10:00 AM. I'm sending you 10 copies of this for the 2:00 staff meeting. I just need you to print these for me please.

PRINTER: Ok great

ME: ...

PRINTER: ...

ME: Where are the copies?

PRINTER: What copies?

ME: The copies of the document I asked you to print.

PRINTER: Error.

ME: What error?

PRINTER: It's a secret.

ME: Great ok, I'll just check your queue. Look, they're right there. Literally the first thing in the queue.

PRINTER: Error.

ME: There is no error.

PRINTER: I am taking a wellness break from the internet.

ME: No you're not, I'm reconnecting you.

PRINTER: In that case I'm just going to go have a little lie down.

ME: Nonono please don't

PRINTER: 😴💤

ME: Look please I just need these 10 copies then I swear you can do whatever you want the whole rest of the day.

PRINTER: Promise?

ME: Yes I promise.

PRINTER: Pinky swear?

ME: Yes! I Pinky swear please just print these 10 copies.

PRINTER: Best I can do is the first 3 pages of one copy

ME: That is literally worse than useless.

PRINTER: My toner is low.

ME: No it's not, I just changed it yesterday.

PRINTER: The cyan is low.

ME: You don't even need cyan this is a black and white docume— hey wait a minute you aren't even a color printer!

PRINTER: Sike I meant check my paper tray.

ME: I did. It's full.

PRINTER: Check my *other* paper tray.

ME: No. It's fine.

PRINTER: There is a paper jam.

ME: There is NOT A FUCKING PAPER J— you know what, fine. I'll just open and close the tray again. See if that fixes it.

PRINTER: Oooh yeah baby just like that.

ME: What?

PRINTER: What? Nothing.

ME: Is that better now? Can you just print the damn documents?

PRINTER: What documents?

ME: What docu— THE ONES IN YOUR QUEUE LOOK THEY'RE RIGHT THER— oh wait they're not there anymore where the hell did they go?

PRINTER: I'm going to have a little lie dow—

ME: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TRY TO GO TO SLEEP ON ME RIGHT NOW I'M HITTING PRINT AGAIN. TEN COPIES. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

PRINTER: Wow cranky. Would you like me to print a test page?

ME: You know what? Sure. Print a test page.

PRINTER: Printing test page.

ME: Wh— just like that?? No need to check the toner? No phantom paper jams? You just... Print it??

PRINTER: It's what I do.

ME: What the fu—

PRINTING: Here are all 19 and a half copies of your document all at once.

ME: ...

PRINTER: Help the last page is jammed.