UK residents: what do i have to commit so that Evri will finally stop putting items into trash bins?

@whitequark several murders.

@whitequark Evri makes a lot more sense when you realise that their job is less "package delivery" and more "servants of Loki, the trickster god"

man

@whitequark I am also reminded of this: https://chaos.social/@gsuberland/113780863661303671

@whitequark you need to learn the art of the passive aggressive note - write a not on the rubbish bin which says something along the lines of:

"Dear Evri delivery driver, have you ever considered what it might feel like to be put face first in my rubbish bin just like what you do to my packages? Well, next time you come to deliver I'll make sure to give you a free sampling of the experience."

@whitequark actual answer: you can usually send feedback once you get the delivery notice, and say "a bin is not a safe or hygienic location" or words to that effect. Evri is basically gig economy delivery, they hire their drivers as 0-hour contractors, so they also have ~nil quality control and the feedback is the only way shit practices get fixed. unfortunately Evri pushes too much work on the drivers so doing anything but the fastest zero-fucks-given delivery means working unpaid overtime.

@whitequark this also means they generally don't read delivery instructions, cos that takes time.

as others said, the only winning move is not to play: pick anyone but Evri. you can also get in touch with the seller and say "hey, stuff did arrive but Evri did a real bad job of delivery, would you please consider using someone else or offering an alternative in future?" - I've had a couple who responded "ugh yeah we've been meaning to switch for a while, let me look into it" and actually did.

@gsuberland aliexpress uses evri (sometimes?) and i'm a very heavy user of aliexpress

@cynicalsecurity i think this is straight up aggressive

@whitequark id suggest a similar approach to cats and keyboards, deploy a decoy bin

@0x47df the _real_ "life in the uk" test

@whitequark well, you are not specifically saying "I will beat the living daylights out of you" and it shows that you know full well it is them doing it :)

@whitequark ah, I forgot the key ingredient: right at the top of the note, in caps, it absolutely, categorically, must say

"POLITE NOTICE"

then the text as recommended.

@cynicalsecurity i think this relies on an unfounded assumption: that they read

@whitequark oh, they read perfectly well, that is how they find your address… what is missing is decency which we are trying to impart upon them.

@whitequark you can also change the "POLITE NOTICE" to say:

"Dear Evri driver, this bin has been used to dispose of dead rats carrying the plague, I really would not recommend opening them"

(add biological risk sticker)

@cynicalsecurity if i was like 5 or 10 years younger i'd probably do one of these, but now that i'm today years old i have too much compassion for the poor sod working below minimum wage and too cognizant of the degree to which several of these suggestions are clearly illegal

@cynicalsecurity ... actually

the biohazard sticker idea might be on point. i don't think that's violating any law or regulation

@whitequark mmh, unsure… that might not be legal and might well mean that nobody ever empties your bin unless you use it only when you know you have an Evri delivery coming.

i have _never_ had so many people openly advocating for violence and destruction in my replies. evri sure has a reputation huh

@whitequark mine are hardly illegal, the "POLITE NOTICE"s I have seen in my time the UK were never particularly sweet.

But yes, the poor sod is probably earning nothing, is being treated like a slave and being penalised for not driving in 30 minutes a route which takes 45 minutes at legal speeds without counting stops, etc. Evri are the wrose by most accounts - in Switzerland their equivalent is DPD which manages feats I thought impossible in delivery services like delivering a washing machine upside down with a gigantic arrow "this way up" pointing to the ground, to the wrong floor, to the wrong person and also caved the bloke's door in as part of the "delivery process". I didn't know if to laugh or cry.

@cynicalsecurity true

@whitequark @gsuberland ah yeah, they use it as part of like a consignment service

@cynicalsecurity that deserves nobel prize in delivery

@whitequark yes, but I still cannot look the 7th floor neighbour in the eye as I feel a mix of guilt and absolute hilarity each time.

@whitequark I mean... their logo even looks like a ransom note.

@whitequark ah yeah on that you're kinda screwed sadly, they're used as a last mile carrier

@whitequark I forgot to mention that I obviously found this out because the DPD driver rang my mobile and said "we have just delivered your washing machine but we have unfortunately slightly damaged your front door". I was standing next to it so I opened it and heard loud swearing from several floors up in the stairwell so I replied "Not my door… where are you?" followed by silence then "7th floor?" "OK, coming."

@whitequark the worst part is you can't even be too mad at the drivers themselves, with occasional exceptions, because the company is structurally designed to fuck them over just as much as you.

@buherator you unearthed the DPD training video!

@whitequark

@whitequark buy a parcel bin? or other safer storage option

@castaway i have never heard of a "parcel bin" before

@castaway this might work. it did not occur to me that this would be a thing